Hang up those god damn shelves so that our home looks like a home,
Not focus so much on things that go into a home,
go home with you.
Lay at home with you. Start a home with you.
Learn to be alone with you, learn to be alone and know I’m still home with you
Know I’m always home with you.
Know more things, remember more things,
remember to tell you I'm sorry for the things I know I regret
lots of things that i've regret but most of all,
of all the things, I regret that fight in Belize.
and most of all, of all I've done,
I regret not being there
when you were cornered and scared.
Because thats not what we do.
Because we always do it so that
I learn to make asparagus for dinner
and you switch the toothbrush head back to yellow.
I pack your bags if you need me to, and
you say yes, when I ask if we can stay for “one more drink”, and
and I move the bugs, so that you’re never cornered and scared.
not being there made me feel cornered and scared
But still, you loved me.
Continually, authentically, and as elegantly as the universe spins,
as wholly as your spirited soul breathes,
and with all the grace and patience I could ever ask for.
Even though I ask so many things, like
Can you make sure the door’s locked? Can you bring me some lemon water? Can you tell me what Monica Lewinsky is doing these days?
Do you remember that time you were in Texas and I called you crying? Told you I was scared, that things didn't matter to me, and everything was always going to start feeling like the feeling of living in a sad song on repeat and that I felt so alone and knew I would always feel so alone, and that I would never get out of the feeling of wanting things to be over and done and finally finished .
I don't remember what you said that calmed me down, but if I could play that song again,
this time, I'd try real hard to remember
that when I'm alone with you, it makes all the times I feel alone worth bearing.