You looked at me and I was taken.
and I think you knew
because you told me I was special,
more so than the ABC schedule in December,

but, I said to you, if I am a snowflake,
I only ever want to feel your tongue, your lips,
because I already melt thinking of your finger
tracing circles around the bruises between my thigh
the ones I got from falling too hard,
loving too much

if I wince, its only because I think of
every year I spent ending days dropping keys, sorting mail,
every week I woke alone in bad motels,
sipping free coffee from styrofoam cups,
every hour I napped
to the quiet lull
of a television buzz
sweetly humming

tomorrow,
tomorrow we can try again
you can talk to the coffee shop girl,
the one who could be your spring,
the one who’s name you forced yourself to know
After your stand in bookmark,
an old baggage claim receipt from sara's first visit
fell out, and dragged you into
yet another night of too much salty whisky

If I wince,
it is only because I think of all
the times I could have been a hymn
and have your humming,
graceful lips
coax me into singing,

PRAISE.
THE.
LORD.

If I wince,
it is only because
your body is St. Peters Basilica,
and I am falling in supplication,
with my wet and gritty,
desperate plea,
let me love you forever.
Please, let me love you

I see your face and
It feels like the ecstasy of starting
and finishing a book,

you are my library
for a lifetime
of having l’espirit l’escalier,
you in my arms, is the biggest fuck you
to everyone I ever didn’t need to prove myself to

but god damn it,
here you are,
real as can be,
beautiful fucking ass,
helping me learn things every day.

And on November 5th,
I learned these are all things
are things
you should never say on a first date.