I thought of all the ways 
I could have fallen in love with you
and I wrote a poem about each of those. 


One started out on a rooftop bench one Saturday at 3am. 
One, when I'm lying on the mattress on the floor, stripping to backgammon. 
Another, the first time I stared at you in silent darkness. 
For me, they all end the same.

I fall in love.   
Like I haven't ever before,
Like its for the first time,  
Like I’m an adult,
and this is my secret,
Like I’m a child,
and this is my secret,


like when I’m surreptitiously sending messages 
through my fingers 
when i trace the freckles on your back
like truly, deeply, fully,


like you are the greatest breeze 
i’ve ever held inside my mouth,
and if knocked out,
Ill never catch my breath again,


I think about that time I laid on your lap
and you stared at the moon while I stared at you
You told me you've never seen such a glow
and I know you were talking about the sky


but, I nodded slightly and whispered in my mind,
words I let get swept away,
oh god,
you make me so happy